You have two cows …

SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State looks after both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies. You charge extortionate prices for the milk.You sell them (to another capitalist) and retire on the income.

ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.

SURREALISM You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION You have two cows. Both are mad.

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2 responses to this post.

  1. Amusingly cynical. Fortunately there are other options.

    Reply

  2. […] You have two cows …. Share this:TwitterFacebookLike this:LikeBe the first to like this. This entry was posted in Uncategorized by merlinsquest. Bookmark the permalink. […]

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